Sleeping
The Seven Secrets
Most parents in today’s society are craving sleep. They have a busy lifestyle, they have to look after older children, do the housework and are also usually going back to work when their baby is around 6 months.
If you have a baby that doesn’t sleep well, you will be exhausted, grumpy and stressed. So will your baby!
You will be told that your baby will learn how to sleep and it will get better as they get older.
You will be told that it will get better when you wean them, because the reason they wake frequently in the night is because they are hungry.
You will be told when that doesn’t happen, when your baby starts to get more mobile when crawling and walking, they will wear themselves out then start to sleep better!
They won’t sleep better if they are weaned or start to crawl, they won’t grow out of it!!
They have the wrong sleep associations, they have bad sleep habits and unless you teach them how to fall asleep without these props then they will never learn.
This gives you hope you think that if you can just get to that point and it will all be okay. Then your hopes are dashed yet again.
Unfortunately if you leave it this long you are now sooo tired, your other half is probably in the spare room, you are snapping at your toddler and are a zombie at work.
“My baby used to nap on me whilst breastfeeding in the day, it was the only time he would sleep! He would only go to sleep in his bouncy chair until I took him to bed with me. I was so tired and tearful, he was grumpy and unhappy and I felt there was no-one to help me. I asked Jo to visit me and give me some much needed support. Within two days he was sleeping in his cot in the day and at night. There was no sobbing from him or me, which is what I expected and after five days he was sleeping 12 hours and having three hours naps in the day. Jo is amazing! She has given me the confidence to enjoy and understand Tom. He is a smiley boy now, not grumpy. We will never forget the gift that Jo has given us, thank you so much Jo!” Hannah – London
Potentially all healthy babies can sleep from 7pm–7am with an 11pm dream feed at around 3 months (usually 12/13lbs).
Potentially all healthy babies can sleep 7pm-7am at around 4 months old (15/16lbs).
Your baby needs to be taught how to be a good sleeper, just as though you would encourage them to walk, they need to be encouraged to learn how to sleep. Some babies are naturally good sleepers but most babies won’t just fall into it.
You will have to work at it, but if you persevere it will work and your baby will be a great sleeper through babyhood, toddlerhood and beyond!
Getting your baby to sleep through the night is many first parents biggest concern. So here are my special ‘Seven Secrets’ guide to getting it right:
- Follow a bedtime ritual consistently every night. Babies and toddlers relish routine and ritual. They like to know what’s coming next as they like certainty
- Treat every hour between 7pm & 7am as night time which means dark and quiet with no loud noises and no games or activities. Baby will soon understand the difference between night-time and day-time. Try not to let your baby fall asleep in your arms or while feeding – always try and lay your baby down awake
- Use ‘Spaced Soothing’ to calm baby and reassure them that you are there for them without them getting upset. My ‘Spaced Soothing’ techniques are explained fully in the ‘Baby Secrets’ book and also when you purchase one of my support packages. Spaced Soothing does not involve crying at all. If your baby is upset then you comfort them
- Don’t rush to your baby at every sound – many of the noises a baby makes are their attempts to fall asleep
- Give your baby a late-night feed or ‘dream feed’ at the same time every night even if you have to wake them to do so. Continue until they is ready to sleep through the night, and waking at 7am
- Set a base time for their middle of the night feed and never feed before it: stretch that time gradually by 15 minutes until your baby sleeps through the night
- Teaching your baby to have good nap-times is also a key to sleeping well at night. A baby who is overtired when they go to bed is only going to nap and not go into a lovely refreshing deeper sleep. When you start to teach your baby good sleeping habits always start at the beginning of the day so that they will have several practises before night time. You will also be able to be more alert and patient than in the middle of the night when you will do anything just to get more sleep. Babies need to have this longer deeper sleep at this age. This is the time when their brains are processing everything they have learnt during the day. It is also the time when their immune system is boosted and their bodies repair themselves. Research shows that they should be getting enough nutrition in the daytime so they don’t need feeding at night as they get older. See my Useful Links page for more details about the research
So now you have all my advice, please try and start a natural sleep routine for your baby. I am always here to help you with my Support Packages or online videos via YouTube.